Last Blog with BROMSE girls...

So, this is my last blog that is assigned. I enjoyed this experience for my Written Communications class even though I didn’t have the opportunity to write as well as I could have. I was very stressed with my other classes and the amount of homework, so I found myself waiting until the last minute to sit down and write my papers and blogs. I am just relieved that it is done with for the summer at least. I know that I am definitely going to miss Sheila Allard. I had her for my speech class over the summer and I was very happy when I found out she was going to my teacher for written communications as well. I never expected to have her as a teacher again, but low and behold I did. I have a feeling I won’t have her again, but only God knows these things, and I’m not going to fret about them. Speaking of God, I couldn’t have done this, any of this, without Him. I’m so glad He is in my life and watching over me all the time. I definitely need someone here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year. And, it is obvious that He is the only one who is capable of that. I couldn’t ask anything more from Him because I know that He loves me with all His heart, all His soul, all His mind, and all His strength. He has given me everything that I need and even some things that I want, even though I probably shouldn’t receive them. He has blessed me with some amazing friends this year and I know that I would have struggled much more than I did without them. Thank you Miranda (Lamey), Ana, Danielle (Pfaffer), Paige, Mackenzie, and Cassie. You all rock my world. BROMSE getting it in all day and all night. I’ll miss you guys. Thanks for the BEST YEAR EVER!!! :’(

I Told you so Blog

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever lost interest in someone that you love? Have you ever broken up with someone that you love because you lost interest? Have you ever broken up with someone that you love because you lost interest, but then realized that you made a huge mistake? Have you ever wanted to make up with someone that you love because you made a huge mistake by breaking up with them since you lost interest? What would they say if you came back? What would they do? Carrie Underwood sings a beautiful song called I Told you so, which paints a picture of this exact situation. “Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I love you, and suppose I said I want to come back home, and suppose I cried and said I think I finally learned my lesson, and I’m tired of spending all my time alone. If I told you that I realized you're all I ever wanted, and it's killing me to be so far away, would you tell me that you love me too, and would we cry together, or would you simply laugh at me and say, ‘I told you so, oh I told you so. I told you some day you would come crawling back, and asking me to take you in. I told you so, but you had to go. Now I've found somebody new, and you will never break my heart in two again.’ If I got down on my knees, and told you I was yours forever, would you get down on yours too and take my hand, would we get that old-time feeling, would we laugh and talk for hours the way we did when our love first began. Would you tell me that you've missed me too, and that you've been so lonely, and you've waited for the day that I returned, and we'd live and love forever, and that I'm your one and only, or would you say the tables finally turned. Would you say, ‘I told you so, oh I told you so. I told you some day you would come crawling back, and asking me to take you in. I told you so, but you had to go. Now I've found somebody new, and you will never break my heart in two again. Now I’ve found somebody new, and you will never break my heart in two again.’

I'm Only Me When I'm With You Blog

If someone gets lucky, they might find “The One” guy that rocks their world forever or even for a little while. If or when this happens, they probably start singing a song by Taylor Swift called I’m Only Me When I’m With You. “Friday night beneath the stars in a field behind your yard, you and I are painting pictures in the sky. And sometimes we don't say a thing just listen to the crickets sing. Everything I need is right here by my side. And I know everything about you. I don't wanna live without you. I'm only up when you're not down, don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do, well, you drive me crazy half the time; the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you. Just a small town boy and girl living in the crazy world, trying to figure out what is and isn't true. And I don't try to hide my tears, the secrets, all my deepest fears. Through it all, nobody gets me like you do. And you know everything about me; you say that you can't live without me. I'm only up when you're not down, don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do, well, you drive me crazy half the time; the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you. When I'm with anybody else, it's so hard to be myself. And only you can tell that I'm only up when you're not down, don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do, well, you drive me crazy half the time; the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me, who I wanna be, well, I'm only me when I'm with you.” Thanks again, Taylor, for giving us the love songs we need for that once-in-a-lifetime experience.

All We'd Ever Need Blog

Lady Antebellum sings a wonderful song called All We’d Ever Need. This song has wonderful lyrics and music if you actually listen to it. “Boy, it's been all this time, and I can't get you off my mind, and nobody knows it but me. I stare at your photograph,still sleep in the shirt you left, and nobody knows it but me. Every day, I wipe my tears away, so many nights I've prayed for you to say, ‘I should've been chasing you, I should've been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me. I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me, and maybe I could've made you believe that what we had was all we'd ever need.’ My friends think I'm moving on, but the truth is I'm not that strong, and nobody knows it but me. And I've kept all the words you said in a box underneath my bed, and nobody knows it but me. But if you're happy, I'll get through somehow, but the truth is that I've been screaming out, ‘I should've been chasing you. I should've been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me. I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me, and maybe you could've made me believe that what we had was all we’d ever need. It was all we'd ever need. It was all we'd ever need.’” Thank you, Lady Antebellum, for giving me and all the ladies around, a hope that we might not have received from other people who try and support us.

You're Not Sorry Blog

Have you ever been with a guy that lied over and over even when he was caught red-handed? Did you know that he was lying right away? Did he then apologize and spill another lie when saying that he’d never do it again? Taylor Swift sings You’re Not Sorry, which takes this situation and puts it in beautiful words for a song. Swift sings, “All this time I was wasting, hoping you would come around. I've been giving out chances every time, and all you do is let me down. And it's taking me this long, baby, but I figured you out. And you're thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around. You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, don't wanna hurt anymore. And you can say that you're sorry, but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before. You're not sorry. Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know. Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold. And you got your share of secrets, and I'm tired of being last to know, and now you're asking me to listen cause it's worked each time before. But you don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, don't wanna hurt anymore. And you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before. You're not sorry. You’re not sorry. You had me falling for you, honey, and it never would've gone away. You used to shine so bright, but I watched all of it fade, so you don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw. There's nothing left to beg for. And you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you baby, like I did before. You're not sorry. You're not sorry.” Thank you Taylor for giving me and all these other women hope for moving on.

Take a Bow Blog

I heard another song on the radio a few days and it fit my life perfectly, but afterwards, I couldn’t remember any of the lyrics at all. HAVE YOU EVER HAD THAT HAPPEN? I HATE THAT! I try to be understanding and assume that I don’t remember it for a reason that God knows and I don’t, but it’s still very frustrating. Well, I found the song, believe it or not. Rhianna sings the heartfelt song called Take a Bow. The lyrics really hit home for me after almost every one, if not all of my previous relationships. She sings it perfectly. You get to the point, when both people know that the relationship is over and not worth all the work. One normally gets so angry from being hurt and used that he or she doesn’t even care how the other person feels anymore. Rhianna sings, “How about a round of applause? Standing ovation? You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house, trying to apologize. You're so ugly when you cry. Please, just cut it out. And don't tell me you're sorry because you're not. Baby, I know you're only sorry you got caught. But you put on quite a show, really had me going, but now it's time to go. Curtain's finally closing that was quite a show, very entertaining, but it's over now. Go on and take a bow. Grab your clothes and get gone. You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on. Talking about, girl, I love you, you're the one. This just looks like a re-run. Please, what else is on?” After the chorus, Rhianna continues, “And the award for the best liar goes to you for making me believe that you could be faithful to me. Let's hear your speech out. How about a round of applause? A standing ovation? But you put on quite a show, really had me going. Now it's time to go, curtain's finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining, but it's over now. Go on and take a bow, but it's over now.” Thank you Rhianna for encouraging me and other beautiful women to move on.

Better Things to Do Blog

Terri Clark sings a great after-break-up song called Better Things to Do. Her lyrics encourage me to stay strong and don’t regret anything that is in the past. Instead, I think she wants people to be grateful for the decisions they have made and continue living their lives for God. Furthermore, here are the lyrics Clark shares with us, obviously about her past experiences with an ex-boyfriend of hers. “Don't tell me the reason that you're calling is to see if I'm all right since you've been gone because I know you and I know why we're talking: You're wanting me to say, ‘I'm barely hanging on.’ Well, maybe that was true for a night or two, but now, I got better things to do. I could wash my car in the rain, change my new guitar strings, mow the yard just the same as I did yesterday. I don't need to waste my time crying over you. I’ve got better things to do. Maybe when I don't have so much going or quite so many irons in the fire, I'll take the time to miss you like you're hoping, but now, I can't put forth the effort it requires. Well, I'd love to talk to you, but then, I'd miss Donahue. That's right, I got better things to do.” After the chorus, Clark continues, “Check the air in my tires, straighten my stereo wires, count the stars in the sky, or just get on with my life. I don't need to waste my time crying over you. I’ve got better things to do.” Thanks Terri Clark for all the encouragement you’ve given to me and so many other women.

White Horse Blog

Taylor Swift sings a beautiful song called White Horse. Another great song for any lady who has been heartbroken and needs some comfort in any decisions she has made. Swift sings, “Say you're sorry. That face of an angel comes out just when you need it to. As I paced back and forth all this time cause I honestly believed in you. Holding on, the days drag on. Stupid girl, I should have known. I should have known. I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale. I'm not the one, you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around. Baby, I was naive, got lost in your eyes, and never really had a chance. I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings, now I know: I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale. I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood. This is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around. And there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me, just like I always wanted, but I'm so sorry. Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale. I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well. This is a big world. That was a small town there in my rearview mirror disappearing now. And it's too late for you and your white horse, now it's too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now. Try and catch me now. It's too late to catch me now.”

Buy Me A Rose Blog

“Buy me a rose, call me from work, open a door for me, what would it hurt? Show me you love me by the look in your eyes. These are the little things I need the most in my life.” Kenny Rogers sings these beautiful lyrics in his country song called Buy Me a Rose. I consider these words to resemble the thoughts of most women and men who are married or dating. I find that almost every relationship starts as a beneficial experience, but then one or both people lose interest and/or their feelings change, and therefore, they fall out of love. Then what? Well, most of them stay because they are afraid of losing essentials like, wealth, popularity, a home, love, protection, and more. Since the couple stays together, they begin to wish things would go back to the beginning. They would buy each other roses, call from work, open doors, and each person knew it didn’t hurt either one. They just want to be loved and for each person to show their love for one another. They remember when they were young, and how easy it was to do those “little things” for each other, which proved their love and happiness. So, what do they do now? They tend to start over with the “little things” that made each person happy, and either the relationship survives and lasts forever, or they realize they have fallen out of love. Therefore, they understand that glass, just like their hearts, cannot be unbroken, and their lives must go on even if they don’t stay together.

So Long Self Blog

“Well if I come across a little bit distant, it’s just because I am. Things just seem to feel a little bit different, you understand? Believe it or not, but life is not apparently not about me anyways. But I have met the One that really is worthy so let me say, ‘So long self, well, it’s been fun but I have found somebody else. So long self, there’s just no room for two, so you are gonna have to move. So long self, don’t take this wrong, but you are wrong for me, farewell, oh well, goodbye, don’t cry. Oh, so long self.’ Stop right there because I know what you’re thinking, but no, we can be friends. And even though, I know, your heart is breaking this has to end. And, come to think of it, the blame for all of this simply falls on me for wanting something more in life than all of this. Can’t you see?” “Don’t feel so bad. There’ll be better days. Don’t go away mad, but by all means, just go away.” Mercy Me sings these heartfelt lyrics in the song, So Long Self. As depressing as the song sounds, it is actually just a representation of someone’s faith and belief in God. It clearly lets the world know that God is the only God, and He comes before EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else, including ourselves. I especially like the beginning of the chorus, “So long self, there’s just no room for two, so you are gonna have to move.” I often feel like I do things for myself instead of God, and then I always feel overloaded. This part of the song describes my feelings to a T. I love God with all my heart, all my mind, all my strength, and all my soul, but I seem to get caught up in other things and have to be reminded that God loves me unconditionally.

Honesty (Write Me A List) Blog

“Honesty, sincerity, tenderness, and trust, a little less time for the rest of the world and more for the two of us, kisses each morning, ‘I love you’s’ at night, just like it used to be, the way life was when you were in love with me.” Rodney Atkins sings these lyrics in one of my favorite love songs, Honesty (Write Me a List). I enjoy this song because I have been in a relationship which made me wonder, “What happened?” This guy, Zac, whom I dated, would often lie, not only to me, but to his friends and family. Not knowing how to handle this situation, his parents and I would talk regularly just to be sure we were on the same page if he failed to relay any small but important details. Because I learned that I could not trust Zac, I knew he wasn’t being sincere and loyal in this relationship. His ex-girlfriend would continuously harass me saying that Zac was cheating on me with her and that he tells her he loves her. When I would confront Zac about it, he would, of course, deny the accusations and assure me that he would talk to her. A week or so later, she would start it all over again. I remember listening to this song and then thinking about Zac and I being in love and getting married. I recall letting Zac listen to these lyrics once when I was concerned about our relationship. He was always spending a lot of time with his friends, drinking and smoking, and his family was very worried about him. They kept encouraging him to spend more time with me, and he was okay with it at first, but after awhile he realized how much he missed those friends and the things they had shared with him. Our relationship was very nice in the beginning, just like most of them, but he soon started blaming me for being controlling and keeping him away from his friends. We broke up, but then he apologized until I broke down and forgave him for everything he had done and said. We dated for another week or so before I caught him red-handed, cheating on me with his harassing ex-girlfriend. It was at that point that I realized he was not worth my time no matter how many times he apologized.

Red High Heels Blog

“All those games you tried to play, well they aren`t going to work on me now. I put up a barbed wire fence around my heart, baby, just to keep you out. Well you thought I’d wait around forever, but baby get real. I just kicked you to the curb in my red high heels.” I heard this song the other day on the radio and started thinking about the billions of issues which I spend hours, days, weeks, months, and even years trying to find solutions for. After this unknown time period, I finally realize the only way is God. He solves all my problems, and I normally don’t have to think twice about it because He is the person whom I live for and then I begin, once again, living my life the way God desires. Friends come and go, and boys come and go, and then BOOM, another problem: Homework. I’m struggling in school and I am not getting my homework done on time, let alone finished. I feel like I’m alone; I am depressed; I wouldn’t mind crawling in my bed and sleeping my life away. After a week or so of isolating myself from the world and trying to catch up on my homework, I hear a hopeful sermon or read a motivating poem about God, and I slowly start to remember that God is the way and the only way. And then I wonder how I could have gotten so lost and become so distant from Him in the first place. I have come to accept the fact that this is God’s way of challenging my love and respect for Him, and my only option is to stay away from Him as little as possible. From now on, I will definitely listen to this song whenever I am stressed or depressed because I know it will remind me of all the love I have for God and all the problems he has solved so that I could live for him and not for anyone else.

She's Everything to Me Blog

“She's a yellow pair of running shoes, and a holey pair of jeans. She looks great in cheap sunglasses, she looks great in anything. She's I want a piece of chocolate; take me to a movie. She's I can't find a thing to wear, now and then she's moody. She's a Saturn with a sunroof with her brown hair a-blowing. She's a soft place to land and a good feeling knowing, she's a warm conversation that I wouldn't miss for nothing. She's a fighter when she's mad, and she's a lover when she’s loving. She's a…church girl on Sunday. She's a cross around her neck and a cuss word 'cause it’s Monday. She's a bubble bath and candles, Baby, come and kiss me. She's a one glass of wine and she's feeling kind of tipsy.” Brad Paisley’s hit song, She’s Everything to Me, is one of the songs that describes me perfectly, with a couple exceptions. First off, I do not have a “yellow pair of running shoes,” but I do enjoy exercising in the late spring, summer, and early fall since the weather is nice and warm. Related to the weather, I do have a very “holey pair of jeans” from being outside, and they are my favorite. What I like most about them is that I did not buy this specific pair of jeans with holes in them; they are naturally worn holes, and because of that, I have decided they are there for a reason: My knees obviously need more room to be comfortable. Continuing on, I’ve been told I look “great in cheap sunglasses” and “great in anything.” Also, I love chocolate and going to the movies, although I normally only go because I enjoy the movie theater popcorn more than any other kind. Next, I agree that I “can’t find a thing to wear” most days, and I’m definitely moody now and then; I’m a woman, what do you expect? Moving on, I drive an Alero, which closely resembles a Saturn, and I do have long brown hair that blows in the wind. I would say that I am a soft place to land and so on because I am very conversational. For the most part, I am always the one blabbing my mouth, but I am able to listen just as well. Depending on the time and place, I can be a fighter when I’m mad, but only in situations where I am angry and struggling to succeed because I’m not a quitter. I am definitely a “lover” as I enjoy all romance films and books. More than anything or anyone else, God is my faith, hope, and love, and I always try to be “a church girl on Sunday.” Moreover, I am not much of a jewelry girl, but I have several cross necklaces that I don’t mind wearing to show my love for Jesus our Savior. Because of my beliefs, I am not known to swear, but I’m sure many people have pessimistic thoughts in their heads when they wake up Monday morning and have to go to work or class. As I mentioned before, I enjoy romance and to accompany it, calming and relaxing strategies as well, like bubble baths and candles, massages, aromatic oils, and so on. To sum it all up, the line, “one glass of wine and she’s feeling kind of tipsy” makes me laugh because I do not ever drink alcohol, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I became unstable over one glass of wine. Every time I hear Paisley’s song, She’s Everything to Me, the thought quickly travels through my mind that he’s singing about me, Kayla Marie Martin.

My Blog

So, after a long drawn-out process of brainstorming ideas for this blog and throwing them all out the window, I realized that there is only one thing about which is worthy of writing: ME. Between my family, friends, and God, I have become a very compassionate 18 year old girl. I could not have asked for anything more.

My family is perfect. We are always together and happy with each other. We never argue or gossip about one another, and we are always readily available when someone needs us. Not! Actually, my mom and dad divorced when I was 5 years old. I lived with my mom, and I saw my dad every other weekend until I was about 16. Around that time, my dad told me that he didn’t enjoy my company because I act so much like mom, therefore, I stopped going for several months. We still only see each other for holidays and birthday parties. I haven’t seen any of my dad’s family for months because he disowns them, and my mom’s family lives all across the country. The majority of my family members are generally unhappy people and because of them, I have learned that “most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.”

On the other hand, my friends are very happy people. Although I didn’t have the best of friends in high school, I was still blessed because I became very independent. Now, my college friends give me a reason to hang out and enjoy life instead of excluding myself from group work and projects. With the variety of friends I have, one of them is bound to put a smile on my face no matter how down in the dumps I am. They always remind me to “never let life’s hardships disturb… no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.”

Finally, God has influenced my life more than I ever thought possible. Growing up going to church with my mom, I participated in all the youth activities that were available and beneficial to my faith. I visited the homeless kitchen to help serve food and keep the children busy, while the parents enjoyed their meals. I also provide financial support to a young girl in Bolivia for bible study classes, clothes, meals, and school supplies. With the help of this girl’s outstanding faith, I have learned how important it is to always be available to help others in times of need. “He will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”

Living by God’s word and learning from my family and friends, is exactly what made me who I am. Of all the lessons I have experienced, I realize the most important is God’s commandment “that you love one another as I have loved you.”