So Long Self Blog

“Well if I come across a little bit distant, it’s just because I am. Things just seem to feel a little bit different, you understand? Believe it or not, but life is not apparently not about me anyways. But I have met the One that really is worthy so let me say, ‘So long self, well, it’s been fun but I have found somebody else. So long self, there’s just no room for two, so you are gonna have to move. So long self, don’t take this wrong, but you are wrong for me, farewell, oh well, goodbye, don’t cry. Oh, so long self.’ Stop right there because I know what you’re thinking, but no, we can be friends. And even though, I know, your heart is breaking this has to end. And, come to think of it, the blame for all of this simply falls on me for wanting something more in life than all of this. Can’t you see?” “Don’t feel so bad. There’ll be better days. Don’t go away mad, but by all means, just go away.” Mercy Me sings these heartfelt lyrics in the song, So Long Self. As depressing as the song sounds, it is actually just a representation of someone’s faith and belief in God. It clearly lets the world know that God is the only God, and He comes before EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else, including ourselves. I especially like the beginning of the chorus, “So long self, there’s just no room for two, so you are gonna have to move.” I often feel like I do things for myself instead of God, and then I always feel overloaded. This part of the song describes my feelings to a T. I love God with all my heart, all my mind, all my strength, and all my soul, but I seem to get caught up in other things and have to be reminded that God loves me unconditionally.

Honesty (Write Me A List) Blog

“Honesty, sincerity, tenderness, and trust, a little less time for the rest of the world and more for the two of us, kisses each morning, ‘I love you’s’ at night, just like it used to be, the way life was when you were in love with me.” Rodney Atkins sings these lyrics in one of my favorite love songs, Honesty (Write Me a List). I enjoy this song because I have been in a relationship which made me wonder, “What happened?” This guy, Zac, whom I dated, would often lie, not only to me, but to his friends and family. Not knowing how to handle this situation, his parents and I would talk regularly just to be sure we were on the same page if he failed to relay any small but important details. Because I learned that I could not trust Zac, I knew he wasn’t being sincere and loyal in this relationship. His ex-girlfriend would continuously harass me saying that Zac was cheating on me with her and that he tells her he loves her. When I would confront Zac about it, he would, of course, deny the accusations and assure me that he would talk to her. A week or so later, she would start it all over again. I remember listening to this song and then thinking about Zac and I being in love and getting married. I recall letting Zac listen to these lyrics once when I was concerned about our relationship. He was always spending a lot of time with his friends, drinking and smoking, and his family was very worried about him. They kept encouraging him to spend more time with me, and he was okay with it at first, but after awhile he realized how much he missed those friends and the things they had shared with him. Our relationship was very nice in the beginning, just like most of them, but he soon started blaming me for being controlling and keeping him away from his friends. We broke up, but then he apologized until I broke down and forgave him for everything he had done and said. We dated for another week or so before I caught him red-handed, cheating on me with his harassing ex-girlfriend. It was at that point that I realized he was not worth my time no matter how many times he apologized.

Red High Heels Blog

“All those games you tried to play, well they aren`t going to work on me now. I put up a barbed wire fence around my heart, baby, just to keep you out. Well you thought I’d wait around forever, but baby get real. I just kicked you to the curb in my red high heels.” I heard this song the other day on the radio and started thinking about the billions of issues which I spend hours, days, weeks, months, and even years trying to find solutions for. After this unknown time period, I finally realize the only way is God. He solves all my problems, and I normally don’t have to think twice about it because He is the person whom I live for and then I begin, once again, living my life the way God desires. Friends come and go, and boys come and go, and then BOOM, another problem: Homework. I’m struggling in school and I am not getting my homework done on time, let alone finished. I feel like I’m alone; I am depressed; I wouldn’t mind crawling in my bed and sleeping my life away. After a week or so of isolating myself from the world and trying to catch up on my homework, I hear a hopeful sermon or read a motivating poem about God, and I slowly start to remember that God is the way and the only way. And then I wonder how I could have gotten so lost and become so distant from Him in the first place. I have come to accept the fact that this is God’s way of challenging my love and respect for Him, and my only option is to stay away from Him as little as possible. From now on, I will definitely listen to this song whenever I am stressed or depressed because I know it will remind me of all the love I have for God and all the problems he has solved so that I could live for him and not for anyone else.

She's Everything to Me Blog

“She's a yellow pair of running shoes, and a holey pair of jeans. She looks great in cheap sunglasses, she looks great in anything. She's I want a piece of chocolate; take me to a movie. She's I can't find a thing to wear, now and then she's moody. She's a Saturn with a sunroof with her brown hair a-blowing. She's a soft place to land and a good feeling knowing, she's a warm conversation that I wouldn't miss for nothing. She's a fighter when she's mad, and she's a lover when she’s loving. She's a…church girl on Sunday. She's a cross around her neck and a cuss word 'cause it’s Monday. She's a bubble bath and candles, Baby, come and kiss me. She's a one glass of wine and she's feeling kind of tipsy.” Brad Paisley’s hit song, She’s Everything to Me, is one of the songs that describes me perfectly, with a couple exceptions. First off, I do not have a “yellow pair of running shoes,” but I do enjoy exercising in the late spring, summer, and early fall since the weather is nice and warm. Related to the weather, I do have a very “holey pair of jeans” from being outside, and they are my favorite. What I like most about them is that I did not buy this specific pair of jeans with holes in them; they are naturally worn holes, and because of that, I have decided they are there for a reason: My knees obviously need more room to be comfortable. Continuing on, I’ve been told I look “great in cheap sunglasses” and “great in anything.” Also, I love chocolate and going to the movies, although I normally only go because I enjoy the movie theater popcorn more than any other kind. Next, I agree that I “can’t find a thing to wear” most days, and I’m definitely moody now and then; I’m a woman, what do you expect? Moving on, I drive an Alero, which closely resembles a Saturn, and I do have long brown hair that blows in the wind. I would say that I am a soft place to land and so on because I am very conversational. For the most part, I am always the one blabbing my mouth, but I am able to listen just as well. Depending on the time and place, I can be a fighter when I’m mad, but only in situations where I am angry and struggling to succeed because I’m not a quitter. I am definitely a “lover” as I enjoy all romance films and books. More than anything or anyone else, God is my faith, hope, and love, and I always try to be “a church girl on Sunday.” Moreover, I am not much of a jewelry girl, but I have several cross necklaces that I don’t mind wearing to show my love for Jesus our Savior. Because of my beliefs, I am not known to swear, but I’m sure many people have pessimistic thoughts in their heads when they wake up Monday morning and have to go to work or class. As I mentioned before, I enjoy romance and to accompany it, calming and relaxing strategies as well, like bubble baths and candles, massages, aromatic oils, and so on. To sum it all up, the line, “one glass of wine and she’s feeling kind of tipsy” makes me laugh because I do not ever drink alcohol, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I became unstable over one glass of wine. Every time I hear Paisley’s song, She’s Everything to Me, the thought quickly travels through my mind that he’s singing about me, Kayla Marie Martin.